at the newsroom cafe


March 18

morning began awaiting reply to my text which coincidentally appeared just as I opened my eyes. Well for all that had happened, as of today, I don’t see how one can make up for it. Until this evening, I was way too disturbed by how I have been treated. Did I deserve this? This biggest disappointment for which I was depressed throughout the day and the past night is because I began to share every single moment of my life with her, regardless of how trivial it is. I had made the guts to open up to her for almost everything about myself. And after all that, sometimes the way she behaved with me, hurt me to the extent that I had no one to share this with. Never felt so insignificant. And yet I want to believe that she is someone very precious in my life. At least because of the time we have spent, there emerged a lot of change in the way I began to look at life. I owe her for that. Had I not known her perhaps I would not have rejuvenated myself. But amidst of all the glorious times, there were days I felt down and I know I have also made her feel the same at times. I have been a mean person a number of times and I have been told about that 🙂 For hanging up on me just like that and not even bothering to explain why, I had asked her to place herself at my position and think of what she’d have done. There wasn’t a response to the text. And so I sent another asking her if she’d still say that I was reducing our friendship, or I was ignoring her. Hours down the line, she felt like meeting me up. No matter how disappointed I was, I was also missing her company. So I showed up at Brac. Went to newsroom café. Not that I was feeling any better but I still wanted to see her. Thought perhaps she’d clear things up. I was seriously upset since yesterday for she had not bothered to tell me anything about what she did in the last two days that we didn’t meet. So she told me about how Faraz, her cousin fell off the stairs with his walker and hurt himself. The Rahimafroz thing didn’t workout and well I wasn’t much excited about the offer either because I knew she wouldn’t like it. Oh perhaps to amuse me, she told me that she had two photographs of me and I thought they were of us together. I was surprised because in all of the time we have known each other, we haven’t taken a picture of us together. I was getting late for the class. But I wanted to know how her night passed because mine wasn’t a pleasant one with so much depression. She was guilty of the fact but in no way she’d explained why she had to do that. That was the evening talk we had and I rode off to class. I remained as upset as I was. I wish it didn’t happen like this. I only look forward to how soon I would overcome this but if only she made the effort………. 🙂

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